Good intentions are very mortal and perishable things. Like very mellow and choice fruit, they are difficult to keep.
Charles Simmons
Before we dig down into my good intentions and how they ran astray, I wanted to first sort out exactly where the above quote was from. I looked around for a good quote for this blog post and while that one nails it, I’m unable to actually source it. There are several Charles Simmons authors, at least one politician, and a singer – I’m unsure which of those people this quote is attributed to. If anyone knows for sure, I would love to know so I can properly accredit it.
I had every intention of using Nanowrimo to make good progress and hopefully finish my book, but it just did not happen. I started off making good progress and got another 6500 words or so written and transformed a section of the book that was incredibly weak and contrived into one that added a ton of nuance and needed sincerity to a section that is going to drive the political situation going forward (and I’m just getting into the meat of this section, so it’s going to just continue to grow in word count). To be completely fair, there are still three days left in the month, but if I’m being honest, there’s no way I’m catching up.
My mom was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in July of 2017. The rest of that year was a blur of doctor visits, hospital stays, radiation, chemotherapy, and surgeries. My wife and I adjusted everything to make sure she got to all of her appointments, her daily radiation treatments, and then took care of her in the aftermath. Everything she went through took a toll though and looking back through pictures, the before and after is pretty stark. Her kidney function was already injured pretty severely by her untreated diabetes over the years and the chemotherapy drugs didn’t help them out at all. It was a continued struggle with her the past couple of years with every doctor she visited telling her she needed dialysis, but she flatly refused to suffer through that as well and made the decision to just let things run their course. On November 4, she was taken to the hospital for an infection that had set into her right big toe and her left heel. She went downhill pretty quickly in the hospital and we had to make the choice to move her into hospice care. At the point she was moved, she was largely unresponsive and was only awake for short periods of time. She passed on November 22 around 5 PM. I had been down there and sat with her just hours before she passed, but I’m not sure she even knew I was there.
So, I’m giving myself a pass this November. I’ll get back to things when I’m able, and I will get this book finished eventually.
And then I get to deal with all the dreadful things I’ve read about that happen after you finish your book and try to get it published.